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Dear Today

Posted by Scotsman on October 7, 2011 in Life |

Dear Today,

Thank you for making me appreciate irony.  My son came running into the computer room today.  When I asked what he was doing, he said “I heard on the news(radio) that today was going to be a bad day, and I want to google it to know why.”

I laughed at the fact that my child like any child has a limited vocabulary yet knows the word “google”.  I then explained to him that there was no such thing as a “bad day”.  I didn’t get all “time is of no meaning” on him or anything, but I did inform him that the guy on the radio was wrong.

Thanks for attempting to prove me wrong!

Honestly. I won’t go into everything that you’ve did to me today.  I don’t want to go all emo and livejournal.  I do want to applaud you for some of the things you’ve did today though.  I mean okay – an affiliate program dropping my commission from 50% to 15% overnight? That’s the kind of stuff I expect.  Complete and utter lack of motivation due to losing an article I was writing?  Yep, that happens.

But some of the shit you did today was so out of left-field.  Breaking my stove?  That was a good one.  Really didn’t expect that.

I have to bow down and applaud you though, for what I can only call the “highlight of the day”.  Leaving the house without my keys when I went to go pick up the kids, which resulted in me and the kids being locked out.  I have not ONCE been locked out of a house in my life – yet it just so happened to happen today?  And of course we had no spare keys, so me and the kids were stuck outside for 3+ hours?  Because my wife just HAD to be in an area at her university where there’s no reception?

That – I have to tip my hat off to.  That was fucking beautiful.

I’ve thought long and hard about today, I really have.  As a believer in karma(the My Name is Earl kind), I’ve been trying to think if I did anything “bad” to deserve a day like this.  The only thing I can think of is that I called Albert Einstein “overrated”.  Maybe he’s your relative or something, and you took offense at that?

So yeah – I’ve thought long and hard about today.  Initially, I thought that today was trying to tell me something.  It was trying to tell me “today is a bad day.  Fuck off and come back tomorrow”.

But I’m not gonna do that.

When it comes down to it – I love today!  I’m not one of those people that will sit and whine and cry until you have to yank out the worlds smallest violin for me; I’m a very positive person who always sees the funny side.  I’m laughing my ass off at today.  It’s just been so over-the-top ridiculous I can’t help but laugh.

And really – we need days like today.  If all we had were good days, then we’d never appreciate them.  We’d never strive to have good days.  So it’s always nice to appreciate the good days, and thanks for the reminder.

Oh yeah and one last thing Today….

Go Fuck Yourself.

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Eggs Benedict Fail / Movies I’ve Watched Recently

Posted by Scotsman on September 2, 2011 in Life |

Well unfortunately I’ve got bad news – the website everyone in the world has been waiting for, “The Quest to find the best Eggs Benedict in Kingston”, is going to have to go on hold.

A lot of urgent work came up over the last few weeks which is going to keep me busy, including a few HUGE projects. One of which in particular is very lucrative and the opportunity practically fell on my lap – but it’s something I know NOTHING about so I’m going to have to spend a lot of time and energy focusing on it, and educating myself about that particular topic.

I’ve also been busy building quite a few mini-sites, like Books In Order, the sister site of Order of Books, as the latter has been doing extremely well and I wanted to capitalize on that market.

Anyway just wanted to make a short post on here to bring y’all the bad news. Also I realized I haven’t did a “Movies I’ve watched recently” review post. The last one was in February actually, christ.

Honestly I haven’t really watched many movies recently. I’ve been catching up on The Apprentice the US Version, the best show ever. I’m pretty much caught up so next is the UK version.

Anyway here’s movies I’ve watched since Feb:

Paul: I stopped this around the 50 minute mark exactly 3 fucking weeks ago, and I was unable to finish it since. It was dreadful. I FINALLY watched the rest tonight. The final act actually wasn’t half bad – actually felt like everything had a purpose, while the rest of the movies purpose was “lol watch Seth Rogan as an alien swear”. Probably *

Limitless: Pretty fun movie. Was one of those movies where it could have been way better, but was still solid. About ***1/2

Had tron on in the background today. Godawful. Not even worth rating.

Hitman: Had seen this in the theatres when it first came out. Watching it again, it was obvious how bad the story really is, with so many plot holes etc. Yet it doesn’t matter as it’s still a fucking fun movie, with some awesome action scenes. Reminds me a bit of Salt, except without a story that makes sense to really go with it. ****
Michael Clayton: Eh, pretty boring and not much to it. Solid performance from Clooney is all. *1/2
Body of Lies: Was aight, nothing special. **1/2
Panic Room: I am SHOCKED at how much I loved this movie. Story & plot wise I thought it was great, really developed well and paced strong, and had me glued. Forest Whitaker also threw in his usual fantastic performance, and his character was fine-tuned to perfection. My only problem was Kristen Stewart as she sounded and looked like a boy in the whole movie. It took about half the movie for me to realize it was actually a girl. Anyway *****
Kill Bill Vol 2: Excellent story/flow to it, and had me glued the whole time. Action scenes were solid, although after watching the scene in Vol 1 you feel just a tad disappointed. ****

I’d hated the first half of Vol 1, but having the full story(well, until Vol 3 in 2014!) in front of me now I’ll have to go back and watch that at some point as I think it would be better on a rewatch.

Super: I heard a lot of people talk about this as if it was the second coming of christ. It was mainly okay, and a few good funny parts. *** tops, Kick-Ass was better. Still worth a watch though.
Casino Jack: Not very good at all. Very dull, and didn’t live up to the expectations in the trailer. The main character(Kevin Spacey) is portrayed in the trailer as someone who is very slick, when in reality he is anything but. 1/2*
Inception: Utter garbage, turned it off after 20 minutes.
Universal Soldier: Regeneration: Everything that I hoped for. ****
The Dilemma: Man, for a comedy they really forgot the comedy aspect of it. I don’t mean it was unfunny – I mean a complete lack of any attempts at humour whatsoever. Very weird. Two funny scenes in the whole movie(intervention & dinner speech). *
Drive Angry: Fun, but nowhere near as awesome as it could’ve been. Didn’t come close to the over-the-top line that Shoot ‘Em Up set, and as crazy as Cage is he was rather subdued here. William Fichtner was awesome, and David Morse made me sad as he’s aged really badly in like 3 years. I had to imdb it just to confirm it was him. ***
Cedar Rapids: Awful, not funny at all. Just lame and dull. Total DUD.

Hall Pass: Ugh, I was looking forward to this one too. Not one laugh at all, and I dunno if Owen Wilson is balding or just had a weird hair-do for this movie but he looked fucking weird. This really sucked.

Killers: Hated this and turned it off after 20 minutes.
Erasing David: The premise of this movie is AWESOME – guy in the UK attempts to go off the grid to see how much the government know about him. Basically hires two private investigators to try and hunt him down.

Unfortunately that part of it was really lacking – the story was fucking boring. The investigators in the description of the movie are apparently “ruthless” but really are anything but. Plus David does retarded things like go to a website they e-mail him which tracks his IP.

So the majority of the documentary is really all about big brother in the UK. It’s nothing REALLY groundbreaking although there are a few interesting things, like when David requests all the data Amazon.co.uk have on him and gets like a 200 page folder back.

Worth seeing but nothing special. **1/2

Unthinkable: It’s a shame this went straight to DVD because it won’t get anywhere near the exposure it deserves. This is a fucking FANTASTIC psychological thriller.

Most of it rides on the main star Samuel L Jackson, and thankfully big Sam throws in one of the best performances of his career, fucking nailing his character which was tricky. Highly recommended. ****

Four Lions: Oh holy shit this is just a fucking funny funny funny funny movie. One of those movies that just give you legitimate fucking laughs. Dingy Rapids! *****
Source Code: Great movie as long as you don’t think too hard. ****
Date Night: Ridiculous & absurd, but surprisingly funny. A solid cast really helped it. The final act was dreadful though and dropped it from ***1/2 to ***.
The Tourist: Another movie with a misleading trailer. The trailer makes it look like another action/thriller type movie when it couldn’t be further from the truth – I’d describe it more as “laid back” and “relaxed”.

Depp and Jolie had practically zero chemistry, and Jolie has way too many “slow entrance” scenes where everyone turns to look at her – but I really didn’t find the movie as bad as the critics are making out. Maybe I went into it with low expectations due to Gervais ripping into it or something. I dunno I wouldn’t actually recommend it to people but it’s not a movie you come out of hating. Was still decent enough to see where it all goes. **1/2

Fair Game: WOW, are the trailers for this fucking misleading or what. They make it sound like an action/thriller, and are sure to mention that it involves a CIA agent before stating it’s from the director of the Bourne Identity. In reality it’s basically a documentary.

It’s funny because the trailer is built around the reveal of her being a CIA agent – yet this happens 1 hour and 5 minutes into a 1 hour 40 movie.

Also some really poor direction and writing as it just jumped around and around, told a very one-sided tale, and was very very VERY anti-Bush.

Despite all that it was enjoyable, and thanks to Michael Moore I’m able to watch these type of movies without any inaccuracies or propaghanda stopping me from enjoying a movie. ***

The Recruit: Solid movie. All the twists end up becoming a bit too predictable…but then there’s one final twist that makes for a great payoff. ****
The Mechanic: Really enjoyed this. Solid action movie with a good story and some cool action scenes, and Statham was Statham. Nothing new to the genre but well worth the watch. Was lacking in the “oh holy shit” cool action scenes that we’re seeing lately which was disappointing. ***1/2
Cube: This came highly recommended but I left rather disappointed. The ending was weak, not in a “keeps you guessing” way but more a “what a cop-out” way. Also so much of it just felt Canadian. It was okay I guess but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Exam did it much better. **1/2 at best.
The Adjustment Bureau: Thankfully I went into this knowing it was more of a romantic movie than a thriller or something like that. Based on the trailers alone I bet many people go into it thinking it’s the next Bourne movie or something.

Actually pretty decent. Probably around ***1/2

Red: Fucking AWESOME movie. I wasn’t expecting much from it at all especially after quite a few stinkers from Willis. Him and Malkovich were both fantastic in this. Highly recommended, at least ****
The Goods: I think I remember this getting PANNED when it came out which is a surprise as it was an enjoyable enough movie. It started off very funny but lost steam about halfway through. Despite that there were still some funny moments like Will Ferrells appearances and a lot of decent one liners. ***
Mission Impossible 2: If I recall correctly, a lot of people didn’t like this movie. I really enjoyed it. Loved the action scenes – John Woo is awesome at the over the top stuff. The story was meh, but I was watching it while I worked so didn’t really care too much. Tom Cruise had hot hair, Thandie Newton had nice perky tits and I liked that Ving Rhames pretty much spent the whole movie just sweating. ***
Gullivers Travels: Oh god this is so so bad. How the hell they actually got a decent cast, including Jason Segel and the guy from Boondock Saints to take part in this I do not know. Jason Segel actually throws in a solid performance too so props to him. But yeah this was awful.

Oh, plus you get to see Jack Blacks ass crack. Yep. Complete half-moon. DUD

Unstable Fables: 3 Pigs & A Baby: This was surprisingly awesome. The main voice actors are Jon Cryer, Brad Garrett, and Steve Zahn. Very fun story, and great humour. Currently Ellas favourite movie. ***

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Hey WWE, Learn how to Internet Market

Posted by Scotsman on August 16, 2011 in Life |

As an internet marketer, I cringe at the WWEs attempts to hit it big on the social networking sites.

They constantly talk about Twitter, and trending on Twitter. The commentators mention it, the performers mention it during promos, and they even pop crap up on the screen about it.

Twitter trending topics is OVER guys. It hasn’t been relevant in a year or so. These days, Twitter has about 90000000 trending topics per day. Seriously, bring up the trending topics page and keep refreshing it. What’s trending isn’t even relevant to events either – it’s just the most random shit.

I mean fuck, here were things that are currently trending:

#3words
#LiesIveToldMyParents
#overthesummer

Devoting so much time, energy and marketing to trending on Twitter for 20 fucking minutes is just RETARDED.

Look – you want to know how to market on the internet? You want to “go viral”? Of course you do – it’s the hot buzz word these days.

Here’s how you do it.

Bring back the Hardcore title, and bring back the 24/7 rule.

It’s that simple. Bring it back, then have it contested 1-2 times a week. In REAL places. In front of REAL people.

Then sit back and watch that shit go viral.

Because everyone has a camera phone. Everyone will be recording it. It’ll be all over Youtube in no time, all over Twitter, shared everywhere, attracting old wrestling fans, current wrestling fans and non wrestling fans.

Do it in restaurants, at Disneyland, in airports – wherever the fuck there are people, DO IT.

Did you see the huge reaction to shit like CM Punk at Comic Con? The videos combined on Youtube have over a million views! Everyone was talking about it! It was because it was unique, it was viewed and uploaded by new people. It was money!

This shit is easy. Do it. Do it now.

Unrelated: Just built Top 10 Casinos and Top Blackberry Apps. That’s one good thing about watching wrestling again – it’s a great background show while I work!

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What a Crazy Month

Posted by Scotsman on July 23, 2011 in Life |

Boy am I glad July is almost done with.

With everything that’s happening in the gambling world at the moment, the LAST thing you really should be doing as an internet marketer is taking time off, yet I was basically forced to take the whole month of July off.

I’m not exactly complaining because it’s been a fun few weeks – but man, the stress of no work and falling really behind is getting to me.

The first week we headed to the cottage for the week. I always load up my Netbook with potential work before going there, then end up never doing a goddamned thing. As soon as we returned my sister came over for two weeks, so we were really busy with her a lot.

So yeah, practically no work done the last 3 weeks, which is really wearing on me. Hopefully get back to the grind soon.

On top of all that, it’s our 9th anniversary today. Well, 9th anniversary of hooking up, 6th anniversary of our wedding. With every crazy thing going on though, we’re not really that bothered with it. Mason had eye surgery yesterday, so our day today basically consisted of him waking up at 4am screaming because his eyes were in pain, battling with him to take eye drops, saying goodbye to my sister who was flying back to Scotland, me fighting a nasty cold and coughing up blood mostly due to the heat, and oh yes: the heat. We’ve basically been huddled in the living room all 4 of us with the air conditioner the last few days.

Hopefully the weather will chill a bit this week, and I’ll be able to buckle down and get some work done.

In other news, I quit drinking. This isn’t a long-term thing or anything – I won’t be attending AA every Monday. It’s just a short-term thing while I get my shit together.

Basically I’ve always had the inability to control my drinking. When I start drinking I won’t stop until someone makes me(ie: time to leave the bar or w/e). I’ll just drink and drink and drink and drink.

That’s bad enough, but the after-effects have worsened. What was once a horrible one-day hangover has now stretched to two days, both mentally and physically. Physically I’m sick for two days, vomiting constantly, unable to hold anything down and just feel completely worn out. Mentally man I dunno – I’ve been getting insanely depressed after drinking.

Last weekend for example I was in Ottawa for my best friends 30th birthday. I got pretty wasted the Friday night and that was it – no drinking Saturday or anything. But even on the Sunday I was to go downtown to see the Buskers with the family, and I had to take a valium just to get up and do that as I was just feeling mentally like absolute shit.

Really is no fun, and not worth the few hours of fun for the 48 hours of sheer utter hell.

I don’t really drink anymore anyway. The only time I drink is on Tuesdays when I go out with my buddy. When we go out we aim to just have “5 pints” – but usually go overboard with 7 or 8 so I’m fucked up. What I may end up trying is starting off by just drinking coca-cola or water or something, and then with an hour or so left have a pint before we leave. That way I’ll still actually be of my senses and want to leave, not being in “omfg must drink beer like water” mode.

Anyway that’s my stories. Gonna go to sleep now.

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Insert Subject Here

Posted by Scotsman on June 28, 2011 in Life |

It’s been fun times here at Scotsmanality HQ.

First of all since May I’ve been “quitting” smoking. I put quitting in quotes because well – I don’t actually plan on quitting, just drastically cutting down. It was getting the point where I was smoking 15-20 a day which was ridiculous and not needed.

Now I’m down to 1-2 a day, and sometimes I forget to even have one. I could probably do a final push and quit – but I’d rather keep it at this pace for awhile. It’s just hard to give up that high you get after going many hours without one.

Work-wise, I’ve been very busy. I just finished setting up an ipad setup for my affiliate program reviews at AffiliateBlble.com – full details here. I also launched the website OrderofBooks.com.

What’s crazy about that site is I wrote an article on AffiliateBible about launching it, and a 10 step process. Next thing I know I’ve got 5k hits just for that article from StumbleUpon. Crazy stuff.

I’m hoping things will be a bit more relaxed in July & August, as June has been a crazy work month. I’m off to the cottage on Saturday for a week, so my plan before then is to just do as much non-content writing work as I can, then when I’m away do as little work as possible.

When I come back – well, I hate this humidity a fucking lot, so I plan on spending that time focusing on writing content while sitting outside in the cool air. If it gets too hot outside or if the weather gets shitty, I’ll spend time inside adding content to the actual websites.

I’ve also been reading a lot. If you haven’t read the Andy McNab series of books – yeah um, get the fuck on that. His Nick Stone series is something else. And buy em here.

Alright this heat is getting too much for me, time for a cold shower!

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