Homesickness

I wrote about this in a previous entry, but as gay as it sounds it is really still bugging me, so thought I would write about it and maybe it’ll make me feel better.

Back in my younger years before having my own family, I never had homesickness.  I would go to Canada when I was 11 to be with my dad for two months and not give a shit.  I’d fly back and forth from Canada to Scotland for months at a time, travel to random places in the world etc and just didn’t care at all, even if I had been in a long-term relationship at the time.

However when I was in Mexico with Marky Mark 2 and a half years ago, I got homesick right away.  I immediately just started missing my son and wife(Ella wasn’t born yet) like crazy.  The very first night actually I remember just being very sad about it, and although I had fun there this really fucked up the trip for me.  When I was in Barcelona with the wife last September it was pretty bad, but at least I had someone to share it with who felt the same way.

This time though it is just brutal.  I have no idea what I was thinking when I booked all these flights, but as the time got closer I regretted it more and more.  On Friday when I was meant to fly to Edmonton I was very close to cancelling it completely, and just staying at home.  Then on Sunday while at Toronto airport, I went up to the Air Canada counter and even discussed changing my flight plan and cancelling my trip to the UK.

So yeah – here I am Thursday morning, a few hours away from flying to London for the conference and I’m just aching to go home.  Actually I most likely would be – but I cancelled my trip to Manchester so I leave for Canada on the Sunday instead, and that has made life a lot easier.  So now it is just 3 more sleeps till I go home and see my wife and kids, and that’s easier to handle.

I know – this all sounds fucking gay – sadly I cannot help how I feel! 🙁  Writing this out made me feel a bit better I guess – but christ I cannot wait for each day to be over.  I’ve decided to skip the parties at night, and just head to bed about 9pm to make each day go just that much faster.

Time to finish packing.